Commitment after dating
I wasted a tremendous amount of time and emotional energy waiting for someone to be 'ready'.Don't give him an ultimatum because no one wants to feel they've coerced a commitment out of someone. No matter how much it hurts to leave (if that is what eventually happens), just remember it will hurt much more if you are still in this situation in 3 more years.So, I've been seeing my boyfriend for almost 3 years now. We live apart, I've wanted us to move in together since a while back (18 months or so, since I've always known he was something special). I've tried to talk about it with him over the last year (well actually, I alternate between talking about moving in, and saying nothing, but I can only leave it about 3 weeks of not mentioning it before I have to again! His response used to be that it was too soon (after 2 years), more recently he just says we'll move in together some day (which is unspecified and never comes)It's ended up being the only thing I'm thinking about, and now I'm really insecure about the relationship and it all feels a bit crap.My parents/friends are always asking me when we'll move in and it makes me so upset and I seem to be crying at home all the time about the situation.And fwiw, it doesn't get easier as you get older.....I think you are right to bring the situation to a head, OP.
However if it gets to the point where one person is ready to commit and the other isn't, there's only a brief window before it starts to really damage things.
but i read it in the paper and it struck a chord with me at the time so i've always remembered it. But keep going with this bloke a few more years, and you'll likely feel sad and bitter.
Move on while you have the optimism, emotional energy, and resilience to find someone new.
And they give up their freedom in favour of never having to go out to find sex again DH and I got married after being together 3 1/2 years but we lived together before 2 years.
I think you need to decide if you want him but possibly no children, no wedding ring and no living together or marriage and children is vital to you and then you would have to leave.