Dating a man who has a child
Sometimes, it is only when things aren’t playing out the way that you hoped for that you identify what you most value and appreciate about relationships and what you want from a partner.
This then provides an opportunity to talk and confirm there is a shared vision that you can both work towards. I always thought that if he loved me enough he would stop doing those things – now I can see that it was his way of switching off and although I still don’t like it and want him to change, at least I can see it for what it is”A man’s, and possibly even your own, sense of shame around what happened, the effects, and fear of other people’s reactions or judgments.
While the language in this article often refers to couple relationships, this information can apply to any form of relationship or loved one — a son, brother, father, relative, or friend.
Try to keep each other up to date as to how the relationship is going for each of you, but without increasing pressure to have stuff resolved right now.
It is also good to remind yourself that, although you are impacted by his behaviour, it is not all about you.
There is no prescribed way that an experience of sexual abuse will impact on a man or on his relationships. A man will often try to find his own way to deal with the experience of sexual abuse, and will work hard to limit its impact on his life and relationships.
Although hearing that a man has been sexually abused is distressing, sometimes this information can help a partner make sense of some of the behaviours they have been observing.