Dating after loss spouse children
D., a psychologist at the Massachusetts School of Professional Psychology. You are in mourning—feeling grief and sorrow at the loss. You may feel guilty for being the one who is still alive. When you grieve, you can feel both physical and emotional pain.For the first year after her husband Mort died of cancer, Mary Childs, now 68, looked mainly to her two sisters and her quilting friends for comfort and a social connection.”I couldn’t do much more than that,” says the Lakewood, CO, retired nurse.”On the one occasion that I attended a couples’ function with friends from our past, I was totally uncomfortable.” Indeed, many people who lose a spouse often feel like when it comes to socializing, it’s a couples’ world.
“Several of our couples’ friends drifted away during Morris’ illness,” she says, “but I was determined to both sustain and build a life for myself after he died.” During his illness, she continued dancing, a lifelong passion she and Morris never shared. For others, the journey may start a year or more after the loss.For information on nutrition and cooking for one, look for helpful books at your local library or bookstore. When you feel stronger, you may want to: When you are ready, go through your husband's or wife's clothes and other personal items. Instead of parting with everything at once, you might make three piles: one to keep, one to give away, and one "not sure." Ask your children or others to help. It may be scary to think about going to parties alone. Here are some things to remember: Don't Forget Take care of yourself.Think about setting aside items like clothing, a watch, favorite book, or picture to give to your children or grandchildren as personal reminders of your spouse. Get help from your family or professionals if you need it. Don't feel guilty if you laugh at a joke or enjoy a visit with a friend. For some people, mourning can go on so long that it becomes unhealthy.This can be a sign of serious depression and anxiety.