The problems of dating
But if you’re single and looking to get to know someone before they stick their hands down your pants, this can be extremely frustrating.It’s not easy talking to someone you’ve just met, only for them to ask you about your sexual preferences and what your genitals look like.If you’re a gay man, the answer is probably more times than you can count.It is the norm to see men on apps like Grindr, Jack’d, Scruff, Bumble, and even Tinder dismiss entire groups of people based on their ethnicity. A recent study shows that 80% of black men, 79% of Asian men and 75% of South Asian men have all endured racism in their efforts to date.
By now, these thirty- and forty-somethings have all been playing the dating game a lot longer than they’d care to admit.Asian men are messaged because they seem “cute and submissive”. As a result, we have a racial-dating-hierarchy with white men – the most sought out online and the least likely to respond to messages – at the top, and those with the least Eurocentric features at the bottom. Hey, it’s tough out there when you don’t fit the mold of a sexy hyper-masculine Adonis.But why are we all so hard on each other when most of us don’t live up to this ideal? This includes some of us who are a little on the skinny side (like myself), or have a few extra pounds, or proudly exude feminine/androgynous energy (also like myself).But it is gay culture (yes, gay specifically) that allows men to see each other as objective prospects; new toys to try out at the store before throwing them back on the shelf. First and foremost, our gay villages promote this gaze.On our streets are posters and clubs filled with muscle men and young, skinny half-naked dancers.